All posts by Joseph

Usual Rubbish

Lights out.

2000 Years to Christmas

So that’s what non-existence feels like. A little underwhelming, frankly. And I’m not a big fan of the tech support line hold music. Sheesh.

Howdy. Speaking for myself and the rest of Big Green (which, essentially, amounts to my illustrious brother and various bizarre hangers-on), I want to apologize most humbly for our little Web site outage over the last couple of days (February 12 – 13). Those of you who visit these pages regularly (all three of you) may have noticed an absence of …. well, anything on this and related domains during that time. Suffice to say we had a little dispute with ICANN over our true identity, which (of course) we have striven to keep secret so that we can continue to fight crime when called upon. That’s all I’m going to say about it. Now excuse me – the Bat Phone is ringing.

I know there are a lot of bloggers and self-managed web proprietors out there who have run into domain authentication issues like this and worse over the years, so I’ve got little to add to this common experience. All I can say is that, when you’re in the middle of an ambitious indoor agricultural initiative, highly reliant on robot labor, it’s a little disconcerting to have someone pull the plug on you because you gave them the wrong email address fifteen years ago. Fun fact: when this site goes down, the lights go out in the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill and we’re all frozen in place. Try calling a tech line in suspended animation! Good thing we have friends on the outside.

Oy! Who put the lights out?!

It’s just one of the drawbacks of being a virtual rock band: our existence is dependent on the availability of a reliable Web server, which, as any web proprietor knows, is simply an impossibility. That’s not the only link in the Big Green supply chain, of course. There’s the data input piece as well. Picture rows of chimps plunking at keyboards. Then there’s those two antenna like things with the electrical arc snapping between them – the one that Mitch Macaphee loves so damn much. In short, there’s a lot that goes into bringing this blog and our various podcasts into being. Sometimes there’s a break in the chain, and then the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. Makes you think.

Hey, what do I know, right? I’m just a guy who plays the piano and strums a guitar. All the science, I don’t understand. This ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids (up in). I got nothing.

Political Rants

First in the nation.

What more can be said about the New Hampshire primary? Just this: Bernie won. I’m sure someone has said it, somewhere. It was a bit more than annoying that we had to sit through excruciatingly long third-place and second-place trophy acceptance speeches before hearing from the man himself, but it was worth waiting for. Like any other supporter of the Vermont senator, I would have liked to have seen a more decisive victory, but in a crowded field in a year when most voters are scared, exhausted, and looking for an answer, 26% is okay. That said, we have to do better.

I do mean we. The candidate can only do so much. His surrogates, excellent as they are, can only fight so hard. These primaries and caucuses are instructive in the sense that they demonstrate in stark terms what it would take to achieve the ambitious agenda that Sanders is putting forward. If we want Medicare for all, we’re going to have to do a lot better than we did in Iowa and New Hampshire. Policies like M4A, the Green New Deal, wealth tax, and so on will not come close to passage without massive mobilization. Let’s not kid ourselves: at best, these programs will take years to implement under the best of circumstances. But they won’t even get off the ground without an unprecedented groundswell of popular will, much as Bernie has described in virtually every stump speech. I think he understands what’s needed … but do the rest of us?

Say it loud: Bernie won.

The signs aren’t all bad. There appears to have been strong turnout in New Hampshire. Given how flaccid the 2016 primary participation rate was, it’s good to see things back up around 2008 level. The real test, though, of our strength as a governing coalition is in the level of support for Bernie and other progressive candidates. There’s no way that Sanders is going to get big things done if he just squeaks by in November without any fundamental changes in the complement of Congress. That’s why I would encourage my middle-of-the-road friends not to feel any reluctance about voting for Sanders or Warren. If you’re worried about M4A and the rest, there will be a million ways to put roadblocks in front of anything like that. I know that sounds pessimistic, but understand – I believe change is possible, but possible isn’t easy. Likely policy is going to be shaped by whoever ends up a part of the electorate. The more we vote, show up, etc., the stronger the case for good policy.

I could go on, but probably shouldn’t. Suffice to say that we will get the president we ask for, good or bad. It’s up to us. Latest polls have Bernie ahead in Nevada, ahead in Texas, ahead nationally. Let’s build on this, folks … it’s our last, best chance.

luv u,

jp

Usual Rubbish

Yamtastic.

2000 Years to Christmas

There are a thousand and one practical uses for them, Mitch. You can eat them, for one thing. And if you wire them up right, you can use them as primitive dry cell batteries. That’s two. Just nine hundred ninety-nine to go.

Damn, it’s hard to talk a man of mad science into something that doesn’t involve explosions. Here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, we are currently in the midst of an agrarian revolution. We’re feeling our roots here in rural upstate New York. Why fight it, Big Green? You are people of the land. You are born of the soil, and you refer to yourselves in the second person. Did I ever tell you my daddy was a poor dirt farmer from up in the hills around Milford? Well, if I did, I was either drunk or more drunk. Dad grew some tomatoes and hot peppers in the backyard, that’s about it. (Oh, and there were those grape vines, but I digress.)

Okay, so we DON’T have the soil in our blood. What of it? We are simply living up to the promise implicit in our name. If we call ourselves Big Green, we should be cultivating green things in a big way. And now, with the advent of robot-driven agriculture, we can, in a sense, plant our cake and eat it too. Though I understand that cake is very hard to grow hydroponically. It takes a lot of sun, and when it ripens, you have to frost the whole crop or your yield goes right through the floor. I’ve seen many a good man flounder on the shoals of cake farming, my friend. Nope …. not for me.

Me bairns! Me poor bairns!

No, we’ve decided to go with sweet potatoes. That’s not entirely by accident (though most of what we do is). Our long time associate, the mansized tuber, is himself an overgrown sweet potato, and he has graciously consented to contribute some shoots to the cause. I’ve instructed Marvin (my personal robot assistant) to plant the shoots in such a manner as might be recommended by people who know how the hell to do this. Marvin duly checked YouTube, then started poking shoots into little pots, all lined up on tables in the dilapidated main assembly room. Before any of us knew it, he was raising a small army of mansized tubers …. only they weren’t yet man-sized, unless we’re talking about very tiny men. They were more mouse-sized. Give them a chance!

I don’t know where this is going, but I know this: our friendly mansized tuber is going to have a lot of company this spring.