Hot enough for you? 450 degrees Kelvin, Mitch tells me. (That’s about 350 for all you Fahrenheit fiends.) Urich, you got your eye on that splash-down point? That’s it? Are you sure? Looks like freaking solid ground to me…
Well, as you may have surmised, Big Green is just now
wrapping up its launch tour for our new album, International House, and is headed back home through that ever-thickening blanket of atmosphere that surrounds planet Earth (our seasonal home). And as the more discerning amongst you may have noted, our re-entry method leaves a bit to be desired. You see, Big Green’s pilot on this outing – a certain Urich Von Braun, reputedly the last surviving member of a little-known German kamikaze squadron – is a “driver” (as George W. Bush would put it) of airplanes. Spacecraft? Well, not so much. Anyway… this re-entry phenomenon is kind of a new thing for him, and while he’s a quick learner, it’s the sort of situation that doesn’t allow for a whole lot of trial and error. We’ve been supporting him in every way we can think of – bringing him drinks, digging up the circa-1975 instructions on how to land a Soyuz, giving him pep talks, etc., but I must admit… I don’t have a real good feeling about this landing.
Take the instructions (please). Urich has read them and he seems to be pointing the ship towards solid ground. I always thought the idea was for a splash-down
type landing. But now I’m told by Marvin (my personal robot assistant) that the Russians always landed somewhere out in Kazakhstan, hopefully in an open field. So now… I don’t know if that means we’re going to Kazakhstan or someplace slightly closer to our actual home in upstate New York – namely, the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill (right now, abandoned even by the gaggle of squatters it usually houses). On John’s suggestion, Matt devised a kind of bomb-sight device for him with crosshairs hastily scratched into it using a pen knife. (Best we could manage.) I keep trying to get him to point the sucker towards water of some kind, but Urich is a pilot who pretty much follows his own counsel. (The result of Kamikaze training, I suspect.) If he wants to point at a slag heap outside a stone quarry, that’s where we’re going, concussions be damned.
That being the case, the only one likely to come out of this without any serious bruises is the man-sized tuber (AIM screenname ManSizedTuber… just so you know). He is, as you know, a large root vegetable and, as such, an extremely gnarly character who doesn’t bruise easily. This is just as well, since he is the one who put together that video for our new song “High Horse” – our mock-
country satirical contribution to the George W. Bush legacy project. It’s been up on YouTube for a week now, and it’s got maybe 250 hits thus far… not exactly a screaming viral hit, but not bad for something submitted by a root vegetable. Reviews so far have been good, but I’m trying to keep him real on his expectations. Not sure it’s necessary. As I said, he’s got a pretty thick skin. You might even call it a husk or rind, perhaps. Not easy to get through to that boy, no sir.
So anyway… I can see my house from space, and it’s getting bigger and bigger with every passing minute. And as much as that sounds like a good thing, it’s… really… not….

that cawing pterodactyls carried my postings to the server in their enormous, leathery beaks?) Certainly this is the most highly anticipated administration of the three and, I firmly believe, of the past 40 years. The phenomenal crowd at Obama’s inauguration was evidence of that. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen so many people that happy to be standing out in the cold. Expectations are high, no doubt of that…. perhaps unreasonably so. Still, it is a little hard not to feel uplifted by that spectacle, just as the sight of those people in Chicago on election night was something of a thrill. It makes you feel as though we’ve arrived at a whole different kind of place in America, even if just for a moment. Nice feeling. Though, speaking personally, an even nicer feeling was had when I saw Bush climb aboard that helicopter and fly away, far far away, to the land of yesteryear. Gone for good… and I do mean “good”. That was worth the price of my ticket.
think I’m singling out Republicans – there are plenty of Democrats on that bandwagon as well. As Naomi Klein has pointed out more than once, natural disasters, wars, and economic upheaval present great opportunities to roll back public goods, like social programs, public housing, etc. People are in shock and disoriented to the point where the powerful can pull the rug out on them before they even know what’s happening. You can hear the mutterings about this now. For instance, we have just witnessed massive infusions of public cash into private enterprise. That has not to any reasonable extent translated into public ownership of those companies. Instead, I keep hearing the topic of “entitlements” being raised as something that must be addressed. Is that how we are to pay the tab for A.I.G., Goldman, and CitiGroup?