All posts by Joseph

Justice for some.

In case the power’s been off in your neighborhood this week, I should mention that the first American war crimes tribunal since the end of World War II has been in session. Who’s the first accused war criminal to take the stand, the Herman Goering of the global war on terror? Well, it’s some dude who drove Bin Laden’s car. Or so they say. Actually, the evidence about that is a little thin, and some of that is testimony extracted under torture (or “enhanced interrogation techniques” as the dark comedians of the Bush administration term it). Another problem: a lot of the folks at Gitmo (Hamdan included) were handed over by surrogates in exchange for a bounty, so you tend to get a high error rate on your collars (e.g. a lot of people who owed a neighbor money or just got on the wrong side of somebody). Happily, the tribunal doesn’t rely on the same standard of evidence as one might expect in, say, a mainland American court of law. I suspect many of these cases, like that of Hamdan the “driver”, would simply fall apart in domestic courtrooms. Not on Fantasy Island, however.

Okay, so you’ve got one of Bin Laden’s alleged schleppers. He’s standing trial in a military courtroom. He is a Yemeni man accused of working with el primo terroristo, and the jury is made up of uniformed American military officers. (Wonder how that is going to come out?) And if that isn’t sure-fire enough for you, the jury need only render a majority vote to convict. Now, these proceedings have a history of questionable policies and practices, including credible accusations (some by senior military officers) against the commanders in charge of stacking the legal deck against the defendants (like insisting there be no acquittals). Still not comfortable with the potential outcome? How about the fact that, if acquitted, the defendant will stay at Gitmo until the end of the global war on terror (i.e. forever)? Same deal if he is convicted and sentenced to time served. (These Bush critters sure are risk-averse, aren’t they?)

With this monstrous individual on trial and Radovan Karadzic at the Hague, we should be feeling pretty safe, right? Well…. there are a few bad characters still on the loose, my friends. In fact, there’s one group of people currently at large that are responsible for what’s probably the most serious war crime of recent years. These criminal leaders:

  • invaded a sovereign nation that posed no threat to their country;

  • brought about the deaths of as many as one million civilians, both directly and as a result of their actions;

  • allowed the total dissolution of order, massive looting, destruction of public property, and collapse of public services while acting as an occupying power;

  • created a situation that produced 4 million refugees, more than 2 million of whom have fled the country;

  • violated their own laws of land warfare as well as international law by fundamentally altering the economy of the invaded nation;

…and actually quite a bit more than that. Pretty heinous, eh? Makes Karadzic look like a piker, frankly. And yet they hide in plain sight… even dancing on national television, with no worries about being carted away.

Schleppers beware: this war is on you.

luv u,

jp

Bad press.

What do you suggest we do, Gertrude? What’s done is done, right? What? No, no… that’s not an option. Besides… he’s too old to be any good in a stew. Bound to be stringy as hell.

Oh, hi, friends (or as John McCain might say, “my friends”). Sorry… I was just on the phone with someone at our label, that vice president of marketing and coercion person. She’s all bent out of shape. So are we all, frankly. Yes, that’s a metaphor. Though in the case of Marvin (my personal robot assistant), being bent out of shape is a serious matter and one that has been plaguing him since his invention by Mitch Macaphee some few years ago. (Marvin is bent just slightly out of shape, as perhaps you can tell from his photos.) I have to say, I don’t like it when people yell at me over the phone. I kind of worry they’ll hurt their throats and have to talk like Miles Davis for the rest of their natural lives. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that….)

Okay… so what was all the yelling and shouting and rending of garments about? Well… it seems out very own man-sized tuber has been a little bit indiscreet. Okay… I’ll be honest… extremely indiscreet. Where do I begin? Well… it seems at some point he got ahold of one of those vacation guides touting the great north country. So he decided one night to wheel off with some fellow tubers and go on a little trip up along the Moose River. (You know…. Moose River! Wider than the Nile! I’ll cross you single file some daaaaay!!!) Not a big deal, right? Shouldn’t be a problem for any normal root vegetable. I mean, you’d think he could keep a lid on his little bender… but no. The very next morning, laying across my breakfast table (right on top of my day-old toast), was a big freaking headline about none other than the tuber himself.

Okay, that was bad enough – to have his name plastered across my morning paper. But the fact that he managed to get his name plastered across Gertrude Al-Kabar’s morning paper was just about intolerable. (Sure, she gets the same paper I do… but what are the chances both would have the same front page?) Now the label is all pissed off. They’re nervous about terrestrial record sales, of course. I keep telling them that any publicity is good publicity, but these fuckers are old school. They can smell a scandal fifty miles away, especially when it involves five-foot-tall root animate vegetables on motorized carts. That freaking tuber has put us in Coventry once again. (Where is Coventry? Right where we are, that’s where.)

So… it looks like our promotional tour will definitely begin in outer space. Aldebaran here we come. Thanks a load, tubey! You and your white water rafting adventure holiday!!

Friends like these.

Pretty bizarre to hear McCain complaining about the media and how they treat him. It’s kind of like grousing about your family or your best friend. For chrissake, they freaking love the guy. Why else would he be running nearly even with Obama in the polls? His campaign is amazingly flat-footed and visionless, he gets details (Czechoslovakia, for instance) wrong repeatedly, he has yet to demonstrate any awareness of our economic crisis, and he thinks Iraq shares a border with Pakistan. Speaking of Iraq, he has been as phenomenally wrong and boneheaded as the administration he has so frequently embraced. His pronouncements about the “success” of the “surge” reek of desperation, like an arsonist telling the judge he helped put out the fire he started after the building had already burned to the ground. The mainstream press challenges almost none of his positions, blithely passing along the campaign fiction that he is an expert on foreign and security policy. They hold him responsible for neither his words nor his work as a senator. And yet he complains – go figure.

Part of what the press is doing here reflects their usual subservience to power (something that puts them in the same boat as McCain). Those who hold economic and political sway over national affairs would prefer to see McCain elected, and so the press rides along. (If the Earth were taken over by space aliens, I’m sure the press would serve them, too.) but another component of their somewhat forgiving attitude towards McCain is a reflection of the general lack of an effective opposition party in the United States – one made up of working people and the poor, consistently representing their interests in opposition to corporate power and an expansive (and expensive) American empire. The liberal-left in this country has given ground on issue after issue, conceding where no surrender was necessary. They’ve allowed the right to canonize Ronald Reagan and, by extension, his disastrous policies. They let reactionaries re-write the history of the 1960s and 70s into something utterly unrecognizable to anyone who was alive then. Small wonder the press plays along with the G.O.P. – the Democrats do, too.

One other thing. We live in a time when military service has become such a rare and exotic experience that politicians and the press are positively in awe of it, rhetorically speaking. When I was a pre-teenager, I was surrounded by people who had either been in the armed forces or were about three inches away from being conscripted. Today, very few middle class folks could say the same thing. As that experience recedes into history, McCain’s campaign can get away with ads like the “Summer of Love” TVC that appears to portray 1967 America as a nation divided between a) hippies who chose to stay home and party, and b) patriots who chose to fight for freedom in Vietnam (!). Spoiler alert: Those freaky kids they show – the young men, anyway – were mostly all on the draft rolls and probably self-medicating as a result of the terror of that circumstance. Not only was that situation frightening and dangerous, but those who were inclined to resist had almost no support. Today it’s not hard to imagine saying no to a draft (if any such thing existed). Back then, it was pretty much unprecedented. That’s part of what made those years so gut-wrenching.

Here’s my point. If the press doesn’t at least try to remind Americans of their own history, what the hell use are they?

luv u,

jp