Political Rants

Fitting the problem.

Barack Obama is a decidedly small-bore president. This is by no means a revelation to anyone. I voted for the guy in 2008 because the notion of a McCain presidency (and a Palin vice-presidency) scared the bejesus out of me, and rightfully so. (I remain convinced that denying him the presidency saved us about 14 wars.) I voted for him again in 2012 to deny the Republicans the joy of having all three branches of government. But that’s about all I’ve gotten out of it. He’s a very cautious man, a very conventional man, and not at all inclined to take bold steps. 

Not a big, bold idea guySure, he’s Simon the Likeable. I think of it as the liberal equivalent of conservatives seeing W. Bush as someone they would like to have a beer with. Obama has an appealing persona to people like me, mostly because he’s the first president in my lifetime that shares our experience. Of course, those considerations are an empty category, politically speaking. It doesn’t matter at all whether or not I “like” this man I don’t know. What matters is how he handles driving the enormous killing machine that is the American Presidency.

And from what I’ve seen, he’s not much better than his immediate predecessors. It’s that incrementalism – the big speech followed by the tiny half-step. Like this week, as Egypt’s military crushed the Muslim Brotherhood protesters, Obama stepped up to the mic in Martha’s Vineyard and duly intoned his concern, then canceled joint military exercises with the Egyptian generals. Kind of a puny response. For one thing, the Egyptian military is getting plenty of exercise now … shooting and rounding up their own people … with arms provided by us. That last part is the problem. If you want to have an impact on the generals’ planning, pull back on the free guns. Don’t just call off bombing the desert for the thirty-seventh time.

The presidency has a life of its own, it seems – some stuff stays the same no matter who occupies the oval office. One such item is our enduring relationship with the military in nations – like Egypt – with weak (or non-existent) civilian governments. So… how do we shift that? Any ideas?

luv u,

jp

Usual Rubbish

What’s in the box? (part 3)

Holy mother of pearl. My throat is in shreds. Just got done with a 23-page script for the next episode of Ned Trek, a now-regular feature on our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN. Spoiler alert: I do the voice of Reagan. Well….

All that yakking can make a man sore tired. And tomorrow I play the 47th in a 194-part series known as the reunion gigs of Puttin’ on the Ritz, a band of many, many strange people (and I am one).

But that is not what you’re here for, to be sure. No, no, I’m sure you’re anxious for me to conclude my three-part explanation of the 21 songs contained on Big Green’s new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. It’s like waiting for the next episode of Downton Abbey or Breaking Bad … except that those things are, well, good-ish.

Anywho, here’s the splainin’ … and then, to bed, damnit.

Santorum From Behind – Sounds obscene, I know, but it’s necessary, believe me. Now that he’s out of the race, Rick is just trying to give old Mitt some helpful hints about that that object in his rear view mirror that’s closer than it appears.

Santiny – A meditation on Santorum, the Rick with the unsearchable name. I hear he keeps a fetus in a jar … a fetus named “Santiny”. You gotta pray.

Big GreenAw Shoot – In a world beyond time … Okay, this is like the theme song to a bad Euro-Sci Fi flick, except it’s about Rick. Unnamed German band takes the long view of Rick’s run, with hilarious consequences. Aw …. shoot.

Am I Really Rick Perry? – A thoughtful Rick contemplates the nature of his own identity, the thingness of things, the rightness of right, and so on, bidding a fond farewell to Andy Breitbart. Kind of a fifties vibe to this one. L.S.D. did exist then, didn’t it?

Poor Dick – Our cousin’s hero, Dick Cheney, is in trouble deep. Who better to save his considerable bacon than Ranger Rick himself. What’s the caper? Find a suitable ticker for transplanting into the heart of darkness. Poach it from another true believer… with hilarious consequences. Another country number, pure and simple.

Flying Up Ricky – Hit with the rapture, Rick disappears into thin air, leaving behind a crew of lamenting braceros, ever grateful for his able abuse. Ah, gratitude. A bit of ersatz salsa on this one.

Lone Star – Our cousin finds his true calling at the Lord’s side during his temporary sojourn in the great beyond, remembering all there is left for him to do in his desert home. Think Susan Boyle after a sex change operation (and major throat surgery).

What’ll You Do Now, Rick? – Next steps are always tricky, expecially when you tripped over most of the previous ones. Someone drafts a legend for Rick. Rock-ish.   

It Should’ve Been Me – The last word from our good cousin: “You’re never alone in Texas when you can play with your dong.” Country exit reminiscent of country entrance.

Usual Rubbish

What’s in the box? (part 2)

Here we are again, man. Week is almost over and, what the hell, time to get back on the blog again. Get right back up on that bronco! as Lee Majors would say. Yee-haw … and the rest of it.

Big GreenSo, where was I? Oh, yeah. I was offering explanations for all of those 7 million songs on our new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, now appearing on iTunes, Spotify, etc., etc.  I believe I left off with “Awesome Hair”. Oh, Governor Scott’s got a glowin’ dome. Governor McDonnell’s got some slop on his top. And so on. Here’s some more ‘splainin’….

Evening Crab Nebula – A resurrected song from Matt’s holiday mix tapes past, re-worked and repurposed to tell part of “cousin” Rick’s wacky election story. Picture a high-paid, low-I.Q. consultant, giving Rick his best advice while standing on one foot. He’s singing this freaking song.

Falling Behind – The news is not good, Rick. Not good at all, man. Look at the polls. Dropping back behind God knows who. T’ain’t never lost a-fore, but there’s a first time for everything. Banjo solo!

Limping Back to Texas – Cousin Rick goes back home to collect his thoughts and a have a little talk with his maker, who sounds strangely like a two-bit Levon Helm impersonation. (You can even hear Salvation Army horns in the background … and a banjo!)

Devil Romney – An embittered Rick rails against a somewhat unaccommodating God as the final nail is sunk into the coffin of his presidential ambitions. Dang you, uncle Jebus!

Endorsing Newt Gingrich – Just what the title says. Rick gives his endorsement to the former speaker, with obvious ulterior motives. Real cranky little country jam.  

Come Back Mean – Dang! Losin’ elections sure can make a man ornery. Next thing you know, a cowboy is likely to go home and do anything he likes … like shut down Planned Parenthood … like force ultrasounds on pregnant women. Deep in the heart of you.

More later. Just watch.

Weird ass music since 1986