This just in.

Getting some feedback on our recent episode of THIS IS BIG GREEN, the monthly podcast we wrap together with gaffer tape and bailing wire (whatever the hell THAT is), stuffing it full of discarded hammer components left lying around from a previous era here at the Cheney Hammer Mill. It’s a smart podcast … about as smart as a box full of hammer heads. Yep, yep … we’ve got at least one brain between us. And then there’s Marvin (my personal robot assistant). He has an ELECTRONIC brain.

Okay, where was I? Ah, yes. Feedback. What has it been like? Kind of a whistling, whining sound that drops in and out. I think I left the speakers on while we were recording. Annoying, but tolerable. I suppose you were thinking by feedback I meant audience reactions to the podcast. Oh, no … that’s not what I had in mind at all. I couldn’t possibly post those comments here. The FCC would jump all over my shit. (And likely they’ll complain about that last sentence, as well.)

What can be said, right? Some may have taken offense at the latest episode of Ned Trek, featuring Willard Mitt Romney and his talking dressage horse Mr. Ned. Others may have objected to the blank verse I quoted from the poet Google YouTube (the automated video transcription bard), to wit:

uh,
about that system work so if you can see the slow-speed and very moment
antiquated castle green too
this is reviewing
uh… or it’s it’s mean-spirited
means german personal assistant
stats apparently to
little it’s little bit please
know the other night
the other side of the form of walnut

Not half bad … not that I’m an expert at this sort of thing. Maybe we’ve just reached an age when verse is not all that dissimilar from randomly generated word combinations. Auto poetry … what a concept!

So anyway … we may start writing some songs this way. Start with raw lyrics, read them into a video camera, post the video to YouTube and generate the transcript. Then re-record it as a song. It would sound! (Ask your father where that comes from.) The pop music equivalent of re-fried beans or twice baked potatoes.

Keep those cards and letters coming!

Crock tears.

Rumor has it they used to wait until the person they despise was cold in the ground before excoriating them. Now, not so much. So Hugo Chavez, elected president of Venezuela three times (four if you count the recall) is called a “strong man” and “steadfast ally of dictators” who “showered the poor with social programs”. Rest in peace, anyone?

Chavez
Rest in peace.

I’m not surprised to hear this kind of claptrap on NPR news (known around my house as “Empire News”), particularly since their point man on Latin America – Juan Forero – is an abysmal reporter, incessantly critical of Chavez while giving a remarkably easy ride to Colombia (the last report I heard from him on Colombia, within the last six months or so, made no mention of human rights violations, intimidation, ongoing repression). He characterizes Chavez’s complaints against American imperialism as if U.S. economic and political domination of Latin America were some drug-induced hallucination by frenzied Bolivarian revolutionaries.

Forero’s principle complaints against Chavez, aside from his efforts to buy his people’s love with “showers” of social benefits, were that:

  • Chavez supported FARC, the guerrilla group operating in Colombia, according to the Colombian government (now there‘s a reliable source) and “interviews with former Colombian guerrillas” – or interrogations, perhaps?
  • Chavez had nasty friends, like Iran and Syria (and Bahrain? And Saudi? Oh, right … those are our friends.)
  • He called people names. (That never, ever happens here.)

NPR is not alone in this. It’s pretty much everywhere, even on MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow show (Maddow described Chavez as “clownish” I believe). NBC seems hyper-focuses on Venezuela’s oil, what’s going to happen to it, why that makes the country so important, etc. I think embedded in that rhetoric is the root of all this animus towards Chavez. Yes, he had some dictatorial tendencies, but he was certainly not a dictator. They despise him because he wouldn’t play the IMF game; because he was independent of Washington, unlike previous Venezuelan regimes. As with Cuba and Haiti, they hate him because he took Venezuela away from them. It’s got nothing to do with “democracy” and everything to do with empire and money.

If no one else will say it, I will. Rest in peace. Best of luck, Venezuelans … there’s trouble ahead.

luv u,

jp

Casting bread upon the whatever.

Hey howdee, everybody! It’s your old friend Joe of Big Green. Yeee-haw, have we got an amazing blog post for you this week. Shit boy howdy. (Did I say “howdy” yet?)

"Cousin" Rick
"Cousin" Rick

My apologies. I’m just practicing up for the promotional tour we’ll be embarking upon to plug our new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, a collection of songs written by, for, of, and around our dear cousin, Rick Perry, governor of Texas, author of all we hold dear, inventor of the syrup gin, holder of the three-cards (in 3-card Monte … don’t know where I’m going with that). Rumor has it that the album is a recreated soundtrack from a musical that was lost over the side of a pleasure craft on Lake Tahoe in 1978. Someone apparently went back in time for that particular Nevada vacation. Rumor has it, anyway.

Okay, so … we’re practicing, to be sure. What else? Well, we posted the February episode of our ludicrous podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN, just this past week. What kind of trouble did we get ourselves into? That’s a tall order, my friend. Just download the sucker and find out. It’s about 100 minutes of pure audio ecstasy, prepared for pod by yours truly and my somewhat more complicated brother, Matt Perry esq. Here are some highlights:

Ned Trek VII: The Last Moon of Frutoonius – the latest episode in the continuing saga of Willard Mitt Romney, commander of the starship Free Enterprise, and his talking dressage horse / first officer, Mr. Ned. This month, Willard, Ned, and Doc Coburn lock horns with rogue operator Newt Gingrich and his strange, other-worldly (or other-moonly) alien fifth wife.

Songs – We spin “Asteroid” from our album, International House, in celebration of our recent near-miss (or in the words of the immortal George Carlin, “near-hit”) by a large asteroid. We also play a lost demo from that same project, a song called “Say You Will” that never made it on to the finished album. Lastly, we play “Beautiful Grid”, a recording from about 1991 or so produced by Bob Acquaviva of Mere Mortals fame, featuring Tony (Ace) Butera on guitar – this is off our “President’s Brain is Missing” EP.

….and several butchers aprons. Got to get back to it. Time’s a-wasting. Enjoy!

Weird ass music since 1986