The maverick.

As I write these words, Senator John McCain, F.O.B. (Friend of Bush) is delivering his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul. (I think I hear him yelling “Fight with me!” – watch out!) I have to say, just having had a good look at his audience, that is one of the whitest gatherings of people I have ever seen, and I grew up in the suburbs. After listening to bits and pieces of what has been said over the past few days, I’m getting a pretty good feel for what will be the overriding themes of the G.O.P. general election campaign. A bit different from 2004, it seems. That year, “service” was largely vicarious – i.e. honoring our people in uniform in the abstract (from 5,000 miles away) while denigrating the service record of the opposing party’s nominee quite shamelessly (recall the band-aids with purple hearts printed on them being sported by the smirking manatees on the convention floor, almost none of whom had ever heard a shot fired in anger).

This year it’s different – the veteran is on the G.O.P. ticket, and there’ll be no diminishing his war record. In fact, there will be very little scrutiny of McCain’s general attitude towards war as it relates to his worldview and his vision for American power in the coming decade. Judging by his past statements, McCain feels bitterness over the U.S. defeat in Vietnam. He has expressed the opinion that the failure of U.S. policy resulted from lack of resolve on the part of our political leaders, particularly L.B.J. (McCain is a little less hard on Nixon, whom he credits for bombing North Vietnam more relentlessly.) If this sounds at all familiar, it should: this has been the dominant conservative assessment of America’s failure in Vietnam since the end of that war. McCain and other high profile P.O.W.’s have been at the core of that revisionist project from the very beginning, ever since the Nixon administration first demagogued on the P.O.W./M.I.A. issue during the war.

To say the least, this should probably be a point of some concern to voters. We’re talking about a guy who believes in his heart that, if we had just bombed a little harder, we could have won the Vietnam war. Based on his perspective as a prisoner in Hanoi, McCain feels that Nixon’s bombing drove North Vietnam to the bargaining table. And yet it is demonstrably true that the Paris Peace Accord signed in early 1973 was in essence the same as the agreement that could have been had in October 1972, prior to the massive U.S. terror bombing of Hanoi/Haiphong around Christmas of that year. Moreover, the accord reflected terms at least as favorable to Hanoi if not more so than those that had been put forward for many years prior to that – certainly more favorable than what the “Vietcong” (NLF) had offered in the early 1960s. All of the death, destruction, massive bombing, appalling chemical defoliation (that still kills today, incidentally)… all of that was for nothing. So… we should have bombed more? We dropped many times more bombs on Indochina than in all theatres of World War II combined, with most ordinance falling on South Vietnam, our supposed ally. Sorry, but the suggestion is simply bizarre and obscene.

This is the “maverick” we want making decisions that affect millions of lives? I think not… even if he brings a caribou-hunting evangelist back to Washington with him.

Tin can alley.

Well, tubey’s got a few holes in him. Little holes. A dab of plastic wood ought to do the trick. Where’s my spatula?

Greetings from the mythical Cheney Hammer Mill, home of Big Green and our new de-facto d.b.a., HammerMade music. That’s the ad-hoc publishing imprint for our upcoming album, International House, due sometime in September… on somebody’s doorstep (possibly yours). More about that later. Fact is, the man-sized tuber has run into a couple of problems in his day, but getting shot by a family member (extended family member, I should say) is not the kind of thing you expect in his kind of family. After all, few root vegetables have access to fire arms. God only knows what would happen if they did! They might share them with the trees, and THEN what would happen? Vengeance would be theirs! SWEET VENGEANCE!!! HELP US, JEEBUS!

Shoo-whee. My apologies – I do get carried away from time to time. What I was trying to say was, in keeping with the theory of six degrees of separation, tubey’s extended family includes everyone in this band, from Matt, to Johnny White, to Marvin (my personal robot assistant), to Mitch Macaphee, and (of course) my sorry ass. That extended family member I mentioned earlier was old Mitch, blowing off some steam with a pellet gun. He wasn’t real careful about where he did his shooting, and tubey caught a few. Nothing serious, you understand, but it did effect tubey’s morale, which had been on a decided upswing since the departure of his cousins from the potato field. Now he’s back down in the dumps… so we’ve decided to come up with a new little job for him to do. Just so he feels needed, wanted, etc.

What kind of job can an oversized sweet potato handle? You may well ask. Actually, we were thinking something along the lines of customer service. Let’s face it – it’s been nine years since our last full length commercial release. We’re a little more than rusty when it comes to glad-handing the potential buyers of our wares, if you know what I mean. (Fact is, we’re actually quite a bit nastier than last time around… the bitterness of broken promises and unfulfilled aspirations… gnaws at you like a wolverine…. rrrrrrrrr…). Yeah, so anyway… we could use someone on the other end of the phone… or the IM chat box. Someone like tubey – he’s got an open, honest face that anyone could trust. And even though he can’t talk so good, he can at least type with his root filaments. (Pretty good trick for someone who’s been out of the ground for more than a few years.)

Once we get the plastic wood into tubey’s various pellet wounds, I’m sure he’ll agree to handle our communications. Then we can pile into whatever kind of oversized tin can Mitch Macaphee devises for us and head off to Aldebaran without a care in the world (aside from the fear of perishing in the icy cold of space…. ooohhh.)

Presto change-o.

Yeah, I watched it… at least parts of it. Who can resist partaking of at least a slice or two of such rich political theatre? The DNC nominating convention in Denver had some odd moments, to be sure, at least from the television viewer’s perspective. I’m still trying to work our, for instance, why they were playing the ’70s disco number “Rollercoaster of Love” when Dennis Kucinich was walking up to the podium. (Coincidence? I think not!) Dennis gave a volcanic speech that certainly touched on most of the issues I hold dear, and for that I love him. Jimmy Carter got a video but no speech – his reward for being the only sane mainstream voice on Israel/Palestine. Bill Clinton delivered a senior statesman-like address, making many wonder (myself included) where that particular B.C. was during the primary season. (For a while there, he was replaced by a look-alike good ol’ boy. Gratefully, that fucker got put back in the box.)

Obama gave a very Obama-like acceptance speech, a performance of the caliber Democrats have been wishing for from their nominees since Moses was a pup. I mean, this guy tosses inspiring speeches out like it’s nothing – so much so that people, including many in his own party, complain about how good he is. (His wife’s good, too. What are the chances of that?) The complaints are mostly that he’s short on substance, but he’s hawking mostly the same policy positions that Democrats have been promoting for years, under much lamer nominees. Honestly, what have they got to be unhappy about? For me, there are plenty of policy differences that will keep me from being ecstatic, but never to the point where I’d be willing to even contemplate another four years of the G.O.P. in the White House. So guess what? I’m voting for the fucker, and I suggest you do the same. Not suggesting that’s all we need to do, not by a long shot, but that, certainly.

Now, if Obama really wants things to change in this country, there is something he could do about it. If he really thinks this election is, as he says, about all of us and not just him, he could look us in the eyes and say that he needs our vote, but not just that. He could say that he needs us to be there with him when he goes back to Washington. He could tell us that when he pushes for, say, national health care, he needs us to push for it, too…. because if we don’t, it’s never going to happen. Same with ending the occupation of Iraq. Same with closing Gitmo. Same with everything. Yeah, I know how unlikely this is. Politicians don’t like it so much when people get engaged – they don’t tend to encourage movements they can’t control. But those are the only ones that bring about meaningful change.

Sure, we can have empty change, like an anti-choice, mooseburger-eating “hockey mom” as Vice President. But what we really need is action on the same scale as the titanic problems we face.

luv u,

jp

Weird ass music since 1986