Tag Archives: Ned Trek

THIS IS BIG GREEN: December 2018

Big Green reconvenes after yet another extended vacation with an all new episode of TIBG featuring the long awaited Ned Trek 38, four classic Big Green Christmas songs, and some serious crazy talk by yours truly. Did you miss us? Tell the truth!

This is Big Green – December 2018. Features: 1) Ned Trek 38: The Squire of Mara Lagos; 2) Put the phone down: Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, rendered by Big Green with help from the Daleks; 3) We’ve got responsibilities, too; 4) Not a scientist talk; 5) That Ned Trek episode: how bad was that?  6) Dueling Sagans; 7) Song: Christmas is Over Here, by Big Green; 8) Chimp talk; 9) Song: Up North, by Big Green; 10) Song: Quantum Christmas, by Big Green; 11) Song: Dark Christmas, by Big Green; 12} Apologies to the world; 13) Matt’s medals; 14) Talking about boyds in the forties; 15) Song: Ornament, by Big Green;  16) Time to go.

Big thanks.

Don’t suppose I ever thanked you for that, right? Well … thanks, man. Thanks a heap. Now get the hell out of my sight.

Oh, hi. Hey … no worries. Just practicing. This, as you know, is the time of year when you show gratitude to all and sundry, even your worst enemy. I was just practicing what that would look like in real life. Say, for instance, my worst enemy (whoever that may turn out to be) should pound on the hammer mill door one cold morning, maybe the day after a long, hard gig on the planet Aldebaran 12, where the bars are open until #$@ o’clock (which, for the record, is pretty late). After dragging myself out of bed, limping downstairs, and pulling the door open wide, how would I properly express my thankfulness for the many gifts of microaggression my worst enemy has bestowed upon me? Suffice to say, it takes thought and practice.

That said, I am thankful for many things. For the leaky hammer mill roof over our heads, for one. I’m thankful for the fact that vacuum tubes are still being manufactured (without those, Marvin’s metronome and inertial guidance system would cease to function). On behalf of the mansized tuber (because he can’t speak for himself), we’re all thankful for plant food. And I wouldn’t want to run through this litany without thanking Mitch Macaphee, our mad science advisor, for not blowing us sky-high this year (third year in a row!). Thanks, also, to anti-Lincoln, whose Gettysburg Address is even more inspiring recited backwards.

Thanky, yankees.But more than anything else, we are thankful to you, our listeners and readers. (That includes all you little Russian bots – I see you!) And that’s why we have chosen to express our gratitude by posting a warmed-over installment of Ned Trek entitled “Ned Trek 29: Error of Mercy”. Check it out at NedTrek.com. This originally ran on our podcast THIS IS BIG GREEN back in August of 2016, in the thick of the presidential election. Highlights include the usual assortment of bad imitations, such as Matt doing James Carville and me doing Bill Clinton. Fun fact: our first read of the script was done in a hospital examination room, waiting for test results. (We were cackling so loudly I think the staff considered declaring a code red and breaking out the restraints.)

So … thanks for the laughs, and for listening to us laugh like idiots.

Fascist songbook.

Sure, you’ve played that one before. You remember. It’s the one about the fascists dropping over for Christmas. Don’t remember? Go back and look, dude!

Hiya. As you know, we’re still shut up in the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, working diligently on the next episode of our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN. And when I say “next”, I mean the next couple of episodes, each of which is in a different state of non-completion. This is all about Ned Trek, of course … that time-consuming mashup of space opera crossed with horse-based comedy and political satire.  If I recall correctly, we dreamed that concept up on the planet Neptune, but don’t quote me. Matt probably pulled it out of Uranus. Either way.

So … the most proximate of the “next” episodes is being edited and finished as we speak (are we speaking?). The second “next” episode hasn’t been recorded (or even completely written) yet, but that one’s a musical, so we’ve been working on songs that will go into the episode. That installment of Ned Trek will be based on the Nazi episode of Star Trek, so pretty much all of the songs are about fascists, past and present. That’s right, folks …. around the studio lately it’s been Nazi this and Nazi that. We’re calling the fuckers out, people, and in the most ridiculous ways. Word.

Okay, how about a song about that?Not that we haven’t cultivated that particular field before, you understand. It’s just that we’re digging in a bit this year. It’s partly due to the specific Star Trek episode we’re mocking, but hey, let’s face it … there are a lot of neo-fascists taking power just lately, including the clownish variety we have here in the states (to say nothing of the right-wing brown shirt organizations we deal with at the street level these days), so these songs aren’t exactly historical documents, per se. We’re jamming on current affairs, people. Ripped from the headlines, as it were.  It’s enough to make Marvin (my personal robot assistant) blow a fuse or two. Just so long as he doesn’t grow a little mustache.

I know … we’re on a slow roll here in Big Green land, but we will get back to posting podcasts in the weeks ahead, honest. Look for a new episode soonish …. now with more Nazis.