Tag Archives: new album

News

Did Neil blow it? Song sheds dim light on old controversy.

My pappy always told me that, before you judge a man, you should walk a mile in his shoes. (Actually, scratch that – I’m thinking of someone else‘s pappy.) Anyway, whoever the source might be, it strikes me as a valid point. That’s why whenever I hear someone criticizing Neil Armstrong for flubbing his first words as he stepped off the lunar module, my first impulse is to say, “Hey … did YOU walk a mile on the moon? Huh? Did ya?”

The thing is, now we’re being told that Armstrong didn’t necessarily botch his little lunar speech – we just heard it wrong. In other words, he’s not the eff-up … we are for not keeping up with his speedy elocution style. Though, in fairness, the poor quality of interplanetary radio communications in 1969 should take some of the blame. I mean, listen to the dude – it sounds like he’s talking through a freaking kazoo.

As it happens, Big Green has weighed in on this contentious issue. Allow me to explain.

Art Imitates Life (Warts and All)

Some of you (and you know who you are) may be familiar with a song we did twelve years ago by the name of One Small Step. It’s a jumping little record I want my jockey to play! (No, wait – that’s Roll Over Beethoven.) Anyhow, as you can see from the video, we grapple with the vexing question of what Armstrong said as he stepped onto the moon. And by “grapple”, I mean bat it around like chimps in a bouncy house.

One Small Step, by Big Green

The chorus gets right to the point:

One small step for one bald man
Giant gaffe for all time
We did it!
Now let’s go do the other thing
for Jack-O!

Clearly, we settled on a point of view. But was it the right one? And what’s with the backing vocals? I mean, who sings “mooooon!” and “thing! thing! thing!” as a refrain? But I digress.

The Other Thing

Of course, amateur historians will tell you that the “other things” JFK was referring to in his Rice University address in 1962 had nothing to do with the moon. God, no – they were (1) climbing the highest mountain, (2) flying across the Atlantic (even if you’re a Hitler-admiring freak), and (3) some football game.

Now, it took three days to get to the moon (one-way, non-smoking, off-peak pricing). Climbing Everest took an afternoon, from a running start. True story! How long does a college football game take? Don’t ask me … just wake me up when it’s over. THE POINT IS: going to the moon took longer, so Neil and company deserve extra credit, overtime pay, and so on. That was what we were getting at. Somewhat.

And In Other News …

Work continues on Big Green’s next album. As I reported previously, we’ve got about 23 or 24 songs under construction. Right now we’re patching some rough spots, adding backing vocals, dropping in some additional parts (mostly keys). We should be in the mix phase by sometime this summer, so my wild prediction of a Fall release is still possible. (Or the whole thing might blow sky high. Who can say?)

Look for updates in the coming weeks. Or months. Try tomorrow.

News

Big Green albums are hard to finish. Here’s why.

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Did you survive the total eclipse of the sun? Well, if you’re reading this right now, chances are the answer is yes. Now that we’ve fully recovered from that harrowing experience, the time is right to talk about music. (As the killer probe Nomad said on classic Star Trek, “Think about music…”)

Let’s face it – albums are never easy. They require time, patience, and great care, not to mention a crap load of luck. Of course, that dynamic is not exclusive to Big Green. What sets us apart is our process for completing an album. What process, you may ask? Allow me to offer you a brief look under the hood of this smooth-running machine.

Joe on keys

I’ve written at length in previous posts about how mother-effing slow we are. And while sloth may be our secret sauce, here are three key elements that go into building a Big Green album:

1. Specific Gravity

While it’s kind of hard to measure, we like to ensure that our songs maintain a high level of density relative to that of water. Often that process prompts us to add strings, horn sections, chunky guitars, or over-driven organ parts. We come up with arrangements, track them, then burn a rough mix to CD-R. If we drop the disc in a bucket of water and it bobs to the surface, we know our work is not done.

2. Valence

As we record a song, we ask ourselves, “How well will this song bind with other songs on the same album?” After noodling this for a few minutes, we try to put some concrete numbers together. We usually start with the total number of tracks on our last album (in this case, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick had 21). From that number, we subtract the number of valence electrons associated with a specific track. (Note: if you try this at home, you may need to borrow an electron microscope.)

3. Lyric Intelligibility

Hey, we’ve all been there, right? You listen to a song for a year, a decade, three decades, then one day you discover you’ve misinterpreted the lyrics. Instead of “There’s a bathroom on the right”, he’s singing “There’s a bad moon on the rise”. Well, here at Big Green, we try to keep that to a minimum. And when I say minimum, I mean a minimum of thirty instances per album. Sure, it takes work, but the more you confuse people, the more memorable you’ll be.

Matt and his Gibson.

Stream Our Asses

Hey, don’t forget – you can find Big Green’s full catalog on many (if not all) of the major music streaming platforms, including:

Add us to your playlists!

(Image by Julien BLOT from Pixabay)

News

This just in: The moon will block the sun. Flee!

Dateline: Upstate New York, March, 2024 – We can report with some confidence that the moon will almost certainly launch an attack on the sun in the coming days. Sources tell Big Green that the assault may occur as soon as April 8, 2024, based on signals intelligence. (Note: the signals we receive come through a sophisticated device we call “television”.) Officials say that the moon’s intention is to block the sun’s rays, throwing large swaths of Central New York into near total darkness at midday.

How should you prepare? First, it’s important that you don’t panic. Remain calm at all times, and encourage those around you to do the same. Second, once you have them all lulled into a false sense of security, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! If we all follow these simple steps, rest assured that the moon shadow shall pass and all will be as it was before. On this you have my personal guarantee.

(Important safety tip: Do not look at eclipse through a telescope … or, really, at all!)

Slow-Ass Mothers

Well, so much for the public service announcement. Now for what’s happening with Big Green. Yes, we’re still working on our new album. Doesn’t feel super new to us anymore, because we’ve been toiling away at it for – what? – two years. The important thing is that it’s new to you, our beloved listener(s).

People have asked why it takes us so long to finish an album. Well, I’d like to be able to tell you that it’s because we’re obsessed about quality and workmanship, not timeliness, but that would be ridiculous. (The second part is true: remember that we’re slow-ass mothers.) As always, the truth is far more mundane. We manage maybe one session a week, and that’s usually just for a couple of hours. I typically record and work on pre-production between those occasions, so that might add up to four or five hours a week.

All right, so … do the math. How long should it take to record an album? Ask Google, and you’ll get about fifteen different answers. (Ask Jeeves, and you’ll get lunch on a tray.) If I take the average of the wild guesses that come up in search, I get two weeks of pre-production and rehearsal, three weeks of recording, maybe another week of post. A serious band might spend 8 hours a day or more in the studio. Assuming a five-day week, that’s 120 hours of recording, plus maybe 60 of pre and post.

120 + 60 = 180; 180/4 = 45. That’s 45 weeks at our pace. And we’re still freaking behind. Jesus. Back to the blackboard.

Fall Forward, Spring Back

If I wet my finger and hold it in the air, I can get a vague notion of how hard the wind is blowing and in what direction. Predicting when our album will be finished requires more sophisticated analysis. We’ll need a divining rod for that.

If I were to guess, gun to my head, I’d say we should have something releasable by Fall 2024. (We’re doing preliminary mixes on about 25 songs at this point.) So you may be seeing a new Big Green album drop about the time you’re turning your clocks forward. Or back, depending on which mnemonic device you use to keep track of daylight savings time. (Mine is “fall forward, spring back” because that just sounds right, but don’t let me influence you.)

Illustration credit: b0red at https://pixabay.com/users/b0red-4473488/