Tag Archives: One Small Step

Prospect park.

We went up to Griffith Park … with a fifth of Johnnie Walker Red … and smashed in on a rock, and wept … while the old couple looked on into the dark…

Oh, hi. Just trying to recall some ancient lyrics from The Band, off the Cahoots album. Not their best work, but still worthy of a listen. I don’t know what brought that to mind aside from this nagging desire to, I don’t know, go out into the park across from my house and take a few swigs of red eye. Why? Just because it’s time for something completely different. Though something completely different might be standing out there with a tray full of cocktail sized vegetable samosas and a big vat of apricot chutney. Hang the whiskey. (Never sat very well with me anyway. That’s more a drummer kind of thing. Fits very nicely just under the drum throne.)

Summer at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill sets the mind a-wandering, I must admit. Much like winter does. Fall and spring too, for that matter. Everything about this place makes you think of moving on. That’s why it’s freaking abandoned! Even the HAMMERS couldn’t stand it here any more. (In fact, a lot of the bricks seem to be trying to make a break for it as well, dropping off into the river, crumbling their way into the next world.) I don’t want to make it sound like I speak for everyone in the Big Green entourage when I muse about drinking in the park – not a bit of it. We’ve all got our separate dreams and ambitions. That’s what keeps us feisty and restive. Though not Marvin (my personal robot assistant). He’s only feisty and restive when so programmed.

Fortunately for the wanderlust in all of us, there are offers on the table. Trouble is, the table is not in the mill… it’s someplace quite far from here. Madagascar, I believe. At least that’s what our sometimes agent (and one-time keyboard player), Tiny Montgomery, tells me. He has promised Matt, John and I a hugely remunerative tour and has written up all the paperwork in his six-room lean-to in northern Madagascar (near Mahajanga) but cannot fax it to us because he doesn’t have a fax machine and we don’t have a fax machine and…. Well, as you can see, it’s complicated.

Tiny may fax the thing anyway. Marvin (bless his heart) has offered to stick his finger in a wall socket and see if the fax will come out of his butt. If it comes through, come get me. I’ll be in the park.

Dawg days.

Things are heating up around here. Not surprising. I left the mansized tuber in charge of the thermostats. Bugger was born in a greenhouse, what the hell was I thinking?

Well, summer is upon us, friends. No, not summer by the calendar, but rather summer by the sweat of the brow. Or so it goes in the northern climes of the northern hemisphere, on that land mass known as “North America”, just below the mighty lake Ontario, maker of much snow in the darker months – a kind of ice goddess, if you will. (Hell, even if you won’t.) It doesn’t take much to raise the temperature in the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill – all that brick, you know, baking in the direct sunlight, no trees to protect us. It’s like spending a night in the box. Sure wish you stop trying to help me, Captain.

Okay, so… what’s my summer project going to be? Could be any of a number of things. As Big Green has no interstellar tour booked, I may play a few gigs with my old cover band, Putting On The Ritz (a.k.a. the only group with an audience that can put up with me for more than five gigs in a row). Well, that’s one thing. Another is to get a podcast going – a project Matt and I had started, then forgotten about, maybe six months ago. Could try that again. Then there’s all those recordings lying around either half-finished or just gathering dust. Summer might be a good time to sort through all that stuff.

Then there’s recording, of course. We could try that, for a change. Let’s not get crazy.

Matt’s been working on his Facebook posts from Spring Farm Cares – video postings and blog entries. Check it out. I’ve been liking it o-plenty. Now that’s a summer project, friends. Would that I could be that ambitious. About the best I can do is sit around strumming Ian Anderson songs on Matt’s battered 1978 Aspen six-string acoustic. Hey – set up a Web cam and there’s your podcast, buck. 

Hmmm. How many more problems can I solve sitting on my ass? Not sure. It’s TOR:CON 4 over here at the hammer mill. Batten down the hatches!

Not bright, Bart.

Who knows what happened to your wallet, Mitch. I’m not your valet, for chrissake. And tubey – get your freaking plant food out of my shoe closet. I don’t care if it’s full of topsoil. That just means I’ve been pacing the north forty. Just lay off!

I’m sorry you had to hear that (or read the transcript of it, rather). Yes, tempers are running a little thin around the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill these days. Some see it as a variation on seasonal affective disorder – you know, it starts getting warm, we can’t afford air conditioning, and this clammy mill gets kind of toasty. But it goes deeper than that, I’m afraid. An erosion of trust, you might say. It’s the kind of thing that tends to happen with Big Green between interstellar tours. In fact, that’s what keeps driving us into space. I think that’s what, anyway.

Still, there are other things eating away at us. Like those nefarious bloggers, always trying to make more of a monkey out of me than I am to begin with. Now they’ve done it again – taking footage of me out of context. A freakish miscarriage of justice, executed with the witless assistance of Marvin (my personal robot assistant). Yes, he archives video of all of us in his back up drives. It’s cheap storage – what can I tell you? (Mitch even keeps his lunch in Marvin’s air manifold.) Anyway, he must have tottered his way over to Manhattan at some point last week, fell in with the wrong crowd, and next thing you know, my heavily edited ass is all over YouTube.

What heinous deed is the blogger making it seem, though video sleight of hand, I was committing? It’s not so much about doing as being. By taking scenes out of context, the man is suggesting that I am The Fly. Yes, that The Fly. How could he manage that? Simple – he gets his hands on random footage of my daily life here at the Hammer Mill, cuts out key scenes and transitions, eliminates exculpatory material, and voila!  One hideous man-fly.

So my friends… keep those home movies close to your chest. You don’t want to end up like me. You’ve been warned!