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Podcast

THIS IS BIG GREEN: November 2014

Audio

Big Green arrives nearly on time with its November installment of pure audio glory, featuring a new episode of Ned Trek, seven new Big Green songs, and some strange hooting noises. Hold tight.

This is Big Green – November 2014. Features: 1) Ned Trek 21: Old Maple Glory, including seven new Big Green songs, listed as follows; 2) Song: Doc Flapjack, by Big Green; 3) Song: Yorba Linda Mybalinda, by Big Green; 4) Song: Sugar Shack, by Big Green; 5) Song: Motherlode, by Big Green; 6) Song: Hi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi, by Big Green; 7) Song: Super Sugar Christ, by Big Green; 8 ) Song: Nobody Ride, by Big Green; 9) Put the Phone Down: Matt and Joe discuss the 2014 election, and get the vapors; 10) A visit with Secretary Kissinger, author; 11) There’s a caveman in my soup; 12) Matt looks forward to hunting season (not); 13) Song: Don’t Tell Rick, by Big Green; 14) Joe’s green screen antics; 15) Ignominious exit.

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Usual Rubbish

Tick, tock.

I don’t know. That looks like a relative of mine. Are you sure this isn’t my family album? Striking resemblance.

Not sure about the shirtless lookOh, hi. We’re just thumbing through a book on the ascent of man. If I were to pick one that looks most like me, it would clearly be Australopithecus, from maybe 3.5 million years ago. Old school, if there ever was one, and yet a mere wink of the eye in evolutionary terms. So I’m a throwback, for chrissake. Curvature of the spine. Small brain case. Predisposition for randomness. (Good thing old Australo had thumbs, or I couldn’t thumb through this thing.)

I guess we’re thinking about evolution around the Cheney Hammer Mill because, well … hell, somebody has to. It’s about time Big Green got down to the hard work of advancing the species. God knows we have precious little else to do. No gigs on the horizon. A podcast waiting to be recorded and edited. Songs standing unfinished. Come to think of it, we DO have a lot to do, just not a lot of will to act. I guess that just boils down to being lazy mothers. And maybe that’s just okay. Sure, we live in an abandoned hammer mill. Sure, our audience is scattered throughout the galaxy with the exception of the planet Earth. But we still have our pride … even if it’s only pride in lethargy.

I suppose if we were going to work on human evolution, some might suggest we consider starting with the development of a little organ called ambition. That seems to have been left our of our band’s DNA, and rightfully so. Lookit – Big Green is about making music of dubious quality, not the business of hawking said music to all and sundry. Some people are born with the sales chromosome, some just the beer chromosome; some both. It’s not for us to decide, my friends. I have concluded my opening statements!

Wow, that got a little heated. It’s almost like I grew that ambition gene just in the last five minutes. Could do with a new pair of genes.

Usual Rubbish

Genericville.

Do we have 1.5 children? Only if you double-count the man-sized tuber. Let’s ask anti-Lincoln to do the counting – ever since the war, he sees everything twice.

Stupid comet!Oh, hello. Just working up our census form. Don’t mind me. Didn’t know there was going to be a 2014 census, but I guess that’s understandable, since we don’t get a lot of news flowing into the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, our squathouse. Just yesterday some dude in a Fedora knocked on the front gate and handed me a questionnaire. He said I had to finish it by Saturday or his friend might set the mill on fire. (I think the friend’s name was Giancarlo.) How old is Mitch Macaphee? No … I mean before the youth serum?

Questions, questions. Way too much on Big Green’s plate lately, I can tell you. We’ve got the THIS IS BIG GREEN podcast, of course – always time-consuming. Our next episode of Ned Trek, for instance, will feature as many as 6 or 7 new songs, never before heard (and probably never again), all apropos of the ridiculous story line. This is part of the biggest crop of new material to come out of Big Green in, I don’t know, twenty years or so. Over the past year or so, we’ve written and began recording something like 30 new songs; that’s since we finished Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick last year.

Then there’s the pressure to get out and play in front of an audience, for chrissake. We considered doing a gig or two on Mars this month, but given the fact that the red planet is going to be buzzed by comet Siding Spring this weekend, we thought better of it. We have had run-ins with comets before; can’t say that we ever got the better of those confrontations. Chilly little hunks of ice, those comets. No pity. Who can blame them? They’re billions of years old, and only get a little sun once every million years or so, then it’s back to the Ort cloud. But I digress.

Hmmm…. Should I account for multiple personalities on this census form? Yes, I’m back on anti-Lincoln again (and his alter ego, anti-Edgar Allan Poe).