Tag Archives: Songs in the Key of Rick

Usual Rubbish

Inside the Scat.

Still raining? Oh, sure. Hand me the paddle and the sieve.

Well, most of our homeland in upstate New York is under water today. The abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill is practically floating away. What better time to crack out an advance copy of our new album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick? What else is there to do, right?

We just released the June edition of our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN, and in celebration of the arrival of summer, it is a two-hour marathon review of the new album, featuring the all-star cast of Ned Trek:

  • Mr. Ned himself, the talking dressage horse
  • Willard Mittilius Romney, commander of the starship Free Enterprise
  • Doc Tom Coburn, who sounds a lot like Foghorn Leghorn
  • Carl Sagan (deceased), famous astrophysicist
  • Richard Perle, neocon chickenhawk supreme
  • The robot Richard Nixon
  • Mr. Sulu (still strangely hanging out with these losers)
  • Lee Majors (still strangely introducing these losers)
  • Mr. Andy Williams (…. not!) 

You’ll hear biting commentary on every track. Then you’ll hear the track. Then you’ll hear … something else, I’m not quite sure what. (I was half asleep and completely underwater while editing this, it will surprise no one to learn.)

The actual album Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick is ready for release, so watch this space: {     }. If you watch it long enough and you don’t see anything, by all means contact us. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to locate some buckets. About fifty of them. And sandbags!

Usual Rubbish

Unique opportunity.

No, this isn’t spam. This is real life. Real as it gets, man. Gravity, oxygen, water, the whole nine yards.

This is what we need. I was just thinking back to the bad old days in the 1970s when television was king and the internets were just a twinkle in DARPA’s eyes. On about five million occasions – maybe slightly more than that – I can remember watching an ad for 120 Classical Masterpieces introduced by the well-known character actor John Williams (not the classical guitarist … nor the composer of the Lost In Space theme song). Now that we are on the verge of releasing our third and perhaps silliest album ever, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick, I only wish we had a marketing powerhouse behind us like John Williams. Or even Guy Williams. (Except that he‘s dead too!)

Looks like, once again, Big Green will do the legwork on our own. We have some volunteer help, as you know. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) will tell all of his robot friends to download the album. (They don’t even need a freaking smart phone!) The man-sized tuber will be in charge of rural distribution; we’ve provided him with the requisite maps of Nebraska and Idaho. The rest of the country will be handled by the two Lincolns, who – as candidates for the presidency – have tread that ground before with great success. We have great hopes for anti-Lincoln, who has made some friends in Nashville. (Actually, that’s Nashville, Franklin, Idaho. Look it up.)

Yes, distribution is always a headache when most of your fans live on other planets. There’s a cost-benefit issue in trying to ship discs via UPS to Neptune; it’s hard to make that $9.95 per unit generate a profit against the transportation costs, even with our interplanetary handling surcharge of $45,682.53 per disc. Add in the exchange rate headaches, particularly in the Quatloo zone planets, and it’s hard to make your nut that way. Still, we try. Mitch Macaphee has some ideas involving matter transportation technology. All very hush hush at this point. We’ll let you know.

Hey, we live on crumbs. It’s the art that matters, right? That’s why we’re assembling an all-star panel of reviewers for our June podcast – experts who will examine Cowboy Scat from multiple insane perspectives. So stay tuned. This may be the best batch yet.

Usual Rubbish

Fragments of brain.

If I could think faster than a slow crawl, I would. That’s the issue, always. And don’t look at me like that, Marvin. Not ALL of us have electronic brains.

What would I do with all that brain power? Well, for one thing, I would get our next album out a bit quicker. Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick seems to be in perpetual becoming mode. I know you’re sick of it, I’m sick of it, Matt’s had it up to here, the president has started complaining, the ambassador from Madagascar has issued a protest against Big Green – suffice to say, no one is happy. Hey, well … we’re working as fast as we can. It takes a while to bake all those discs, especially without a convection oven like the big, famous groups have. And then hand painting all those covers. Jesus!

At least, in these modern times, we no longer have to perform the music separately for every disc we sell. That was a real pain in the assets. Eventually, someone – I think it may have been Mitch Macaphee, our mad science advisor, but I’m not certain – told us all about the concept of mastering, then spinning copies off of the master, etc. Up until then, we were recording each copy individually. Talk about quality control issues! Sheesh.

We’ve got an assembly line set up in the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, just like the good old days when proles were hammering out … well, hammers within these very walls. (Very clammy walls, I should say.) Big Green is applying the lessons first applied by Henry Ford, in that we line up a bunch of underpaid individuals (including robots and man-sized tubers) and have each one handle a piece of the manufacturing process. Then we drastically underpay them, but not so much that they can’t afford to buy one of the discs on their way out the door.

Well, there’s the factory whistle again. Time to get back down to it. LINE THREE! LUNCH IS OVER!