Tag Archives: songs

Usual Rubbish

The bag, boss.


Hmmm. What’s the capital of Missouri again? Was it Kansas City? Can’t remember. I’ll just enter “undecided,” that will suffice. Okay, next question… how much does the moon weigh? Full moon or half?

Oh, yes… the blog. As you can see, I’m at loose ends here. Just killing a little time between sessions. Matt put down a vocal the other day. (I wish he’d stop putting me down, man. I’m trying my BEST!) Next it’s my turn, but first Marvin (my personal robot assistant) needs to go in there and clean up the tracks a bit, do a little of his magic. (What kind of magic? Can’t say. It’s magic, damnit!) So while I’m just sitting here, I’m filling out crosswords, completing puzzlers, and… well… opening our overinflated mailbag. Some of these things have been sitting in there for six months or better. (I think I spy a christmas present…. from 1970…)

 Here’s one from Osmond of Reno, NV:

Dear Big Green:

I understand one of you lived out here at one time. Why did you do that? Are you trying to ruin our lives? Stop oppressing us!!

– Osmond

Hey, Osmond – I’m awful sorry about that, but it was a long time ago and sometimes it’s just best to forget these things. Let’s mark it down to youthful inexperience, okay? And if I ever come back, I promise not to wash dishes at the Country Kitchen buffet.

Here’s another one, from Madagascar:

Hey Big Green…

Who is this “George” and why does he want to bring Pangea back? We like being a large island nation off the eastern seaboard of Africa, and we wouldn’t mind having a word with this “George”

cheers,

Lord ‘Elpus

Okay, m’Lord, you see… “George” is a fictional character – a mad scientist, like Mitch Macaphee (who is, sadly, real). Not everyone in our songs is for real, okay? Sometimes we make up unlikely personages, like “Jane” or “Abraham Lincoln”, and sometimes we borrow them from other authors, like “Tarzan” and “Edward Teller”.  And regarding the reclamation of Pangea, no worries… that will take some time, he-he-he…. sometime indeed…

Time for one more; this from D.C.:

Dear Big Green,

Hell no, you can’t!

John Boehner
House Minority Leader

Thanks, John. I was wondering about that. Great hearing from you, as always. Well, time to get back into the studio. Sounds like Marvin’s finished erasing everything we’ve done so far. Nice work, boy!

Usual Rubbish

Track it.


Hmmm… I know I left that lying around here somewhere. Ah, here it is. Not sure where I’m going without this little number.

No, it’s not my brain. It’s my list of songs. Sixty five songs and counting. Shoo-wee, right? That’s enough songs to fuel the enormous asbestos-clad boiler of the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill for a hundred years. (Well, that may be a slight exaggeration.) What was it I heard Lincoln (or anti-Lincoln) saying the other day? Oh, yeah. “A chicken’ll make you a meal… or it’ll lay enough eggs for a thousand breakfasts. A lamb – that’s about two weeks worth of mutton. Or you can have warm wool coats from now until doomsday…” That Lincoln- just brimming with frontier wisdom. (Actually, I think he borrowed that from Royal Dano in one of his more nefarious incarnations on The Big Valley, Lincoln’s favorite T.V. drama.)

Where was I again? Oh, right. The songs. Yeah, we have an enormous backlog of songs, some never recorded, many represented by the most rudimentary demos. Lot more Christmas material, true. Fact is, our first album – 2000 Years To Christmas – was just as selection of numbers from a vast body of ludicrous Christmas songs, mostly penned by that keee-razy brother of mine. Probably about fifty of those in total, though only about a dozen have made it onto our record/perform list as of yet. Intriguing, no? (No? Hmmmm. Is that your final answer? Want a life line?)

Sure, there’s that. Then there are the songs that are complete and yet still in the can, never released commercially. Mostly these are recordings that have no proper album to call home. They are made in the usual Big Green way – lay out a polymer disc, slather it full of mastic, add music and apply pressure… much pressure. Then toss. Well… we tossed them a little too far, perhaps, and no one has had the energy to go and pick them up. Those will likely see the light of day at some point, though I don’t know exactly when. (Let me consult with my fellow nut cases and get back to you.)

Speaking of nut cases and music, an old friend of mine shared a champion little number with us the other day. Enjoy, campers!

Usual Rubbish

Pick your poison.


Holy hell. Is that thing on again? Well then, what’s that little red light for? And the countdown box…. Twenty-five, twenty-four, twenty-three….

Oh well. While we’re trying to figure out what’s going on there… What’s been happening here at the mill? Usual stuff. Keeping the roof on, as they say, and the fridge stocked with lunchables. (Or, at least, snackables.) You have to be versatile to please the mix of tastes we have around this joint. Take Lincoln (please). Now, he’s a fan of chicken fricassee. Of course, being a vegetarian, I won’t have anything to do with the stuff, but that doesn’t stop him. He keeps putting it on the shoplifting… I mean, the shopping list. And I keep coming back with tofu. (He’s no happier now than he was in 1863.)

But it takes more than food to make a life. We’ve been working on the next album, as you know. Quite a process. Some of you have been on the inside of our album construction activities, some not. For those of you who haven’t witnessed this first-hand, here’s a little peek inside our methodology. We start with a big boatload of songs. This time, it’s a mishmash of about 60 or 70 numbers that we’ve done demos for at one point or another. Now you may wonder how, with so many possibilities, we could possibly arrive at a decision on the final project list. There are a number of things Big Green considers… and they include:

  • Specific Gravity – This is a no-brainer. If the specific gravity of a song is too heavy, we try making an alloy by blending it with some more light-hearted material. Failing that, we scrap the sucker. Perhaps the constituent parts will come in handy (they sometimes go into making a first-rate pedal bike). 
  • Stock Value – Something that relates back to what I was talking about before, with the chicken fricassee. Before we consider recording a song, we put the lyrics in a pot of water and simmer it for six hours. If it produces a broth that can be used in pilaf or gravy, it’s a keeper.
  • Particularness – I don’t know if I can explain this. I’m looking for some word in particular… mmm, can’t think of it. Oh well… it will come to me.

These and 37 other parameters give us all the data we need to make an informed choice. That’s why we say… the quality goes in before… oh wait. That’s someone else. What do we say? (It’ll come to me….)