All posts by Joseph

Political Rants

Hand washing.

2000 Years to Christmas

What happened to all the hot water? What the fuck, man. There’s no soap, and the hand towel is missing. This place!

Well, friends, like most of America, all members of the Big Green collective are ready for the onslaught of the dreaded Corona virus. That is to say, we’re as ready as anyone else around these parts. That means a lot of hand washing, and nearly as much hand-wringing. Sometimes it’s possible to combine the two, so long as you use liquid soap. It’s a little hard to wring your hands with gusto when there’s a bar of Ivory in the way. Of course, you can never be too careful. Even Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is obsessively dunking his hands in the sink. And when I say “hands”, I mean rudimentary claws. He’s a robot, you see.

We’re trying not to obsess about this thing. I know that seems unAmerican, but that’s just the Big Green way. That said, I can tell you that anti-Lincoln is deeply depressed by this whole thing – much more so than anyone else in our circle of acquaintance. Is he a high-risk individual? Well … no, not for the virus. It appears that he’s despondent over the drop in the stock market. He was working with Mitch Macaphee, our mad science advisor, on some complex variety of derivative, one built on debt value that increases as time moves backwards. (Yes, I know … that sounds impossible, but that’s why he needs Mitch.) Apparently he’s been pouring money into this financial instrument with the intention of making himself rich back in the 1860s. It’s kind of like a money portal, sending gold back in time. Wild!

Got to wash your face AND hands.

Well, that didn’t work out well for anti-Lincoln. That’s what he gets for playing the damned market. He should remember what happened to Lincoln during the panic of 1857. (Indeed he should … because I don’t. At least he was there … in a sense.) To cheer him up, I tried to interest him in the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day parade. My suggestion was that he pull together some kind of parade float. Maybe it could be shaped like a log cabin and made out of discarded government cheese. Or …. maybe something else. Now, he never showed any interest in St. Patrick’s Day, but he has always been fond of drinking, so there’s a chance he’ll drown his sorrow once the Grand Marshall strikes up the band down on main street.

Knock yourself out, anti-Lincoln! Just stay about three feet clear of everyone else in the parade, and you’ll be just fine.

Political Rants

Proof of concept.

I won’t pretend I’m not disappointed by the “Super Tuesday” results. All night, the thing that kept ringing in my ears was the memory of Tom Brokaw back in 1984 saying, “Looks like another good night for Walter Mondale,” and just how nauseating that moment felt. Tuesday was a similarly nauseating experience, except that, if anything, I have less confidence in Biden as a candidate than I did in Mondale. I should say here that I am no stranger to political disappointment; very, very rarely does my first choice candidate rise to the top. That’s partly a function of my being to the left of the Democratic party, but it’s also due to the fact that I do not have a deep connection to the party as an institution.

Like most institutions, the Democratic party favors some people over others for leadership positions within the party. That dynamic pushes forward senior, well-connected, establishment politicians – people like Biden, Hillary Clinton, Mondale, Hubert Humphrey, etc. – regardless of their relative talents, ability to connect with voters, etc. With regard to the presidential race, more often than not, they prevail, and when they prevail, more often than not, they lose in the general. Obama was an insurgent who became the establishment – he didn’t start at the top. Hillary was favored to win in 2016 because it was her turn; she lost on her own merits, or lack of same. Biden is being advance for the same reason – it’s his turn. It’s far from obvious that he’s the strongest candidate to go up against Trump, but that, it seems, is an afterthought for party leaders.

Sure looks like a lot of people.

All that said, Bernie should have performed better Tuesday night. Which proves the obvious: grassroots organizing is hard, tremendously hard. No one even pretends that Biden has a grassroots activist organization – nothing of the sort. Bernie does, but they missed the mark on Tuesday, for the most part. A candidate like Bernie can only prevail if he has a mass movement behind him. What he’s proposing from a policy standpoint is reliant on the existence of such a movement. Bernie is quite frank about that. Without the movement, there’s no Sanders presidency and no Sanders agenda. So these primaries amount to proof of concept at some level. If he can’t build the support now, it wouldn’t be there for him later. His agenda cannot succeed on the basis of a narrow win against Trump. We need a progressive wave, and thus far, it hasn’t materialized.

My hope is that the movement does rise in time to put Bernie over the top. But if it doesn’t, make no mistake – we will still need the movement for what’s ahead of us. Our survival as a species depends on it.

luv u,

jp

New podcast drops

I’ve launched a new political commentary podcast called Strange Sound. It’s free, it’s brief, and it’s available now at anchor.fm/strangesound.

Usual Rubbish

My back pages.

2000 Years to Christmas

Hmmm, let’s see …. here’s a fragment. I think I wrote this in 1987. Or maybe a couple of years before that. Yeah, more like ’85. It’s got tahini stains on it, and I swore off tahini in ’86.

Yes, here we are, doing what upstate New Yorkers typically do during the colder months, when we’re all frozen in place, afraid to leave our homes, waiting for the waxing sun to favor us once again – digging through the archives! Here in the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, we’ve got lots of room for old cardboard boxes and file folders, hundreds of which have somehow found their way here from wherever we came from previously. I don’t know about you, but all of my possessions follow me around like a lost dog. I just don’t have the heart to turn them away. Poor little motherless stand mixer! You’ll always have a home with me!

Right, well … I don’t want to trouble you with some shabby inventory of my personal possessions. I’m mostly interested in old compositions from the early days of Big Green, when we were all knee-high to a locust. Ah yes, I remember those days well, piled into our spartan garret, scribbling away into repurposed notepads leftover from school, crossing out drafts of expository writing essays and replacing them with angry verse, channeling the angst of a then-young generation choking on its collective anger over … uh … having to do expository writing essays. And a couple of other things. Hey, those were the immediate post-punk years. We all started on Dylan and the Beatles as pre-teens, then moved on to the harder stuff when we were 20. Those 60s hipsters were our gateway drug.

Okay, let's have a look, then.

So, what are we finding? Old songs, pieces of songs, idea tapes, etc. I’m guessing there’s an album in this somewhere, though it’s going to look a lot like that Mousetrap board game by the time it’s finished. I’ve recruited Marvin (my personal robot assistant) to help me evaluate what to do with all of this old material. That’s a fairly simple process. I find some lyrics, I insert them into Marvin’s scanner, and the music goes round and round, whoa, whoa, whoa, and it comes out as a series of numbers. I then look up the numbers on the decoder ring Mitch Macaphee built for me (coincidentally, it looks just like the ones I used to get in my Cap’n Crunch cereal boxes) which renders a “yes” or a “no”. If it’s yes, then we consider turning it into something. If it’s no, well, into the bin it goes.

I’ve been getting a lot of nos, frankly. Either there’s something wrong with this ring, or I really sucked my way through the eighties. It’s one of the other, folks.