Moral hazard, part II.

Know what I hate? Well, I’m going to tell you. It’s when people intrude upon your deepest personal life, and then when you object, they accuse you of denying their right to – I don’t know – have everything exactly their way, I guess. That’s how I see the hyper-religious crowd who have been complaining about the mandate in the Affordable Care Act requiring employer-provided health insurance to cover contraception. Obama carved out an exception that should satisfy anyone – one that goes way beyond any necessary relief from what’s required, in my view. And still they are crowing about it, comparing it to religious persecution, even Nazi-ism in the more extreme cases.

The latest round has been in state legislatures from Georgia to New Hampshire, where the crackpot tea-party majority has proposed a “conscience” exception so broad it practically guarantees legal challenge. (These are the freaks who insisted, bizarrely, that all legislation be rooted in the Magna Carta, even though few of them have ever read the document in its entirety. Next, they’ll demand all proposed laws draw on neolithic cave paintings.) Then there are the fetal “personhood” statute and vaginal ultrasound bill in Virginia, scaled back in the face of massive protests by women in that divided state. This … from the party that was all about jobs, jobs, jobs during the 2010 election. See what happens when you trust them?

It should surprise no one that Republicans used the economy as a trojan horse to conceal their deeply unpopular, highly regressive right-wing social agenda. It was, after all, GOP-driven policies (aided, of course, by watery Democrats) that blew a massive hole in the federal budget back in 2001, expanding it in subsequent years with undeclared wars and unwarranted tax cuts for the wealthiest people in the country. Those tax cuts were supposed to have expired by now, but as every politician knows, that ain’t gonna’ happen … because no one has the spine to allow it. Meanwhile, we all pay the price. My city in upstate New York is starved for funds largely because the Feds are starving the States, and the States are passing the cuts along to municipalities. That and inaction on health and retirement reform (not privatization, but the kind that would work) is resulting in massive tax hikes at the local level – close to 20% for the coming fiscal year. This just to spare the Romneys of the world a return to the favorable income tax rates of the 1990s, when they gained plenty enough wealth, thank you very much.

The Republicans have nothing to offer on the economy. And unless we push them, neither will the Democrats.

luv u,

jp

Hold it.

There’s a valuable resource for you. And right here under our noses. We’re rich, I tell you, rich. It’s like finding a whole bag full of doubloons. Or perhaps triploons.

What am I talking about? What indeed. I’ll tell you, friend(s), we’ve been squatting in this abandoned hammer mill for more than ten years. You know what squatting that long does to your quadriceps? Seriously, we’ve been occupying the Cheney Hammer Mill before the Occupy movement ever put on its first pair of short pants. Not for any principle, you understand, other than that of having a roof over our heads. A penniless band, Big Green was in those days. Ah, but no more. Fortune has smiled upon us, once again.

So often these things happen by accident. Someone tinkering with something, blowing some time, and next thing you know, whoosh! Well, that’s what happens when you live with a mad scientist, anyway. For weeks, Mitch Macaphee has been tinkering with that orgone generating machine Trevor James Constable left behind some years back. He hooked it into one of his little ion generators and – as I said earlier – WHOOSH! Fortunate that no one was standing in front of the machine’s array at that moment. The thing was pointing down at the floor of the forge room and, well, suddenly there was a clean, round hole in the fire-brick floor.

Now, I tend toward curiosity, I must admit. But I, like you, have seen Crack In The Earth, so there was no way I was going down that hole. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) wasn’t having any of it either. (I’ve been volunteering him for way too many duties just lately.) I tried to get the mansized tuber to check it out, but no luck. Fortunately, there was no need to send anyone down there. They just started popping out of the hole. What did? Boxes. Boxes of goods from China. Valuable goods, just popping out of the hole. We’re rich, I tell you, RICH. Forget everything you know about value-chain management and global enterprise logistics. We’ve got a hole to where stuff is made. People drop the stuff in on the other end, and it comes out here. End of story.

Okay, so… we’re working on the sales component right now. Stay tuned. And while you’re tuned, check out the latest episode of THIS IS BIG GREEN, our podcast, the February edition. Two new songs by Rick Perry. Another extra by us. Corporate underwriting spots tried and botched. Something for everybody. Yeeha.

Rick’s sugar daddy.

Santorum surges to the front. For many, I’m sure, that is proof positive of the existence of God. For others, it is worrying evidence of the other dude. Astounding, though, how culture war issues have come to the fore so abruptly. Elections are never about what you think they’re going to be about, are they? 2008 was supposed to be about Iraq, but it ended up being the financial crisis and the economic meltdown. This one is supposed to be about the economy, but for chrissake… the GOP guy who’s been talking incessantly about the economy for the past four years just can’t get past first base. Now it’s looking more and more like the election will be fought over, well… birth control.

Then there’s the billionaire problem. It seems that every major candidate has his sugar daddy. For Gingrich it was Adelson, the reactionary casino magnate. For Romney, it’s himself (of course). And for Santorum, it’s Foster Friess, last name pronounced “freeze”. That’s right: the person behind Rick Santorum, presidential candidate, is Mr. “Freeze”. Time to pick up the bat phone, commissioner. This time, Mr. “Freeze” has a plan that just might work. After all, Santorum was nobody, absolutely nobody before the right-wing, hyper Christian billionaire started sluicing money in Super-PAC support of his flagging campaign. Then, hey-presto! Front runner status, with no campaign headquarters, bare-bones staff, and little organization. Just like many of the previous front-runners. Sense a pattern?

Funny thing about Mr. Friess. He appears to share his candidate’s aversion to birth control. He quipped this past week that back in the day, birth control for women amounted to an aspirin – holding the aspirin between their knees. What day was that? The fifteenth century? (No, wait… they didn’t have aspirin then. Perhaps it was a sheep’s bladder.) I’ve heard of reactionary, but this is ridiculous. The fact that the guy would consider this “joke” amusing in the context of what has been an open assault by conservatives on the very notion of contraception speaks to the level of retrograde fanaticism we are witnessing. Who better to carry the standard for this than Rick Santorum, Mr. Man-On-Dog himself … the guy who equates gay marriage with polygamy, bestiality, etc. Contraception is “not okay” in his book, so it shouldn’t be in ours, right? Ask Mr. Freeze.

What’s sadder: That the GOP pack is being led, perhaps temporarily, by a bigot funded by a cartoon villain/billionaire? Or that there are still those who see Mitt Romney as the Bruce Wayne/Batman who will save us?

luv u,

jp

Weird ass music since 1986