All posts by Joseph

Usual Rubbish

Joe to band: More album, less concept

2000 Years to Christmas

No, that’s a terrible idea. What the hell! Sometimes I wonder about your synaptic circuits, dude. I’m starting to think your think-o-lator needs urgent service. What else have you got? I got nothing.

Oh, hey, out there in cyber land. Just another day here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, our adopted home in upstate New York. And by “another day,” I mean another contentious debate over the best way forward for your friends in Big Green. As you know, rock bands spend a lot of their time working out their artistic direction over the course of ten, sometimes twenty years. Hell, if you don’t do THAT, you might end up drifting … or playing the same stuff over and over again …. which is, uh, kind of what …. we …. do ….

An extraordinary meeting

Well, we’re trying to get away from that sort of thing. That’s why we’ve convened a special meeting of the Big Green creative steering committee, which is comprised of the band members, of course, plus Marvin (my personal robot assistant) and the man-sized tuber. We used to include Anti-Lincoln in these meetings, but he kept talking about the war and, well, that gets old pretty fast.

Still, even without “A-Link”, as we call him, in attendance, we some time end up treading the same territory. For instance, we were on the topic of concept albums. I asked the group to suggest some possible concepts for upcoming Big Green collections. Most of the man-sized tuber’s suggestions were plant-based, but then Marvin piped up with the suggestion that we do an album themed around the Franco-Prussian War of 1870. I’m telling you, it’s A-Link all over again!

Can we leave Prince Leopold out of this, Marvin?

Why all Marvin’s ideas are bad ones

Okay, putting Lincoln aside for a moment, there are about a hundred reasons why doing a concept album about the Franco-Prussian War is a bad idea. First of all, I’m convinced that a not-insignificant portion of our fan-base is still sensitive about the accession of Prussian Prince Leopold of Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen to the Spanish throne. And while I don’t want to seem like a panderer, in these hard economic times, we shouldn’t go out of our way to alienate anyone unnecessarily.

This tends to be the problem with many if not all of Marvin’s ideas. There’s always a poison pill hidden in there somewhere. Honestly, a concept album about the Franco-Prussian War would inevitably dredge up unpleasant memories of the birth of France’s Third Republic, and THEN where would we be? That’s why all of Marvin’s ideas are bad!

The totally excellent solution

How about this? No more concept albums. From now on, Big Green albums will just be a collection of randomly generated songs with no relationship to one another or to some unifying idea. Thoughts? Any hands? (Or branches, tubey?)

Political Rants

Knocking down the big lies (and little ones).

It’s not typical for me to blog about the same topic two weeks in a row, but it’s a little hard for me to turn my attention away from the bloodletting in Gaza. As someone who has been following this conflict from a comfortable distance for five decades, it has always been a prominent issue for discussion and disagreement. (I can recall arguing with my friends in Junior High about it, probably on the occasion of the 1973 war or shortly thereafter.)

As most conflicts, it is fueled largely with lies – a category that includes distortions, misleading tropes, and outright falsehoods. You’ve heard the really big lies on basically any news channel you watch or listen to. Most of the pro-war voices you’ll hear read off of the same lies / talking points used by the Israeli government and military. Let’s look at some of these points:

Big Lie #1: Israel has a right to defend itself like any other nation

This is a handy one, as it sets out a pretty simple principle that’s hard for most people to counter, all things being equal. But all things are not equal. Some nations are strong, others not so much. Israel, for instance, has one of the most powerful militaries in the world; it also has the active support of the planet’s last remaining superpower (spoiler alert: it’s the United States).

That means states like Israel have both the right and the ability to defend themselves. On the other hand, weak societies, including stateless peoples like the Palestinians, have the same right but far less ability. So while the statement is, on its face, almost obviously true, it is meaningless in the context of this lopsided conflict.

Big Lie #2: Hamas uses the Palestinian people as “human shields”

This one usually comes in the form of criticizing Hamas for having offices in populated areas. First of all, Gaza is one of the most densely populated places on earth, so there’s no strategic depth for Hamas. Second, Hamas is the government of Gaza, so naturally they have an official presence in neighborhoods throughout the territory’s urban zones. Third, what does the IDF think? That Hamas is going to stand out in the middle of a field with targets on their backs, waiting for Israel’s U.S. supplied munitions to blow them to bits? Not a realistic expectation, frankly.

In any case, I’m sure the Israeli government and military have offices all over Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, and other population centers, so this point is blatantly hypocritical.

Big Lie #3: The IDF is the world’s most humane military

This one is frankly infuriating. Sure, the Israeli military sometimes calls the owner of a building before they blow it up. But they also just blow things up in the middle of the night. If they’re so obsessed with minimizing civilian casualties, why do they use high explosives in densely populated areas? It’s quite predictable that people are going to die in large numbers if you do that. If the IDF’s intent is truly not to kill civilians, then they’re either completely disingenuous or the worst shots anyone has ever seen.

My own feeling is that they seek to cause pain and misery for the population in Gaza with this military campaign because that is what they do in the non-military context all the time. They are still punishing the Palestinians for voting for Hamas in 2006. They want them to turn on Hamas out of anger and frustration and overthrow their administration. Where’s the humanity in that?

I could go on, but that’s probably enough. There’s a lot more to say about all of these issues, and I will try to address some of that in other contexts, on Strange Sound, on Twitter, and elsewhere. This killing is unacceptable, and Americans need to use our leverage to stop it now.

luv u,

jp

Check out our political opinion podcast, Strange Sound.
Usual Rubbish

Our influencer needs some pruning.

2000 Years to Christmas

Jesus Christmas, is THAT what he’s been doing? Oh, yeah … sorry. I forgot that his pronouns are it, its, and … uh …. it. I mean, ITS pronouns, not his. Sorry, sorry. But …. is that what it’s been doing? Whoa.

Oh, hiya. Glad to see some visitors from the sane side of reality. Here in the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, our adopted squat palace, it’s crazytown USA. Chock full of nuts, you might say. In here, we just page through the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (or the DSM-5, as they call it) and take turns embodying each entry to its fullest. It’s almost like the authors have been hiding in the walls, watching us through two-way mirrors. (Is that paranoia … ?)

Sure, that’s problematic. But we’ve got other things to occupy our thoughts. Like, for instance, what the hell is that mansized tuber up to now? For years it’s been like … well, like a potted plant, taking up space in the courtyard, hoping for rain. Now, suddenly, tubey (friends call him tubey) has reemerged from seclusion, firing up its social media accounts and firing off posts like a mighty oak dropping acorns. It is a site to behold.

Branching out

Lord knows that tubey has been in one or two scrapes, as any reader of this blog will surely know. But nothing like what it’s likely to run into on social media. For instance, tubey just restarted his Facebook page after a long absence, and already some loser has asked it to admin their page. Imagine the gall! (Some podcast named Strange Sound …. what the hell is that?)

I think he's right, tubey. You have to turn it on first.

Now, typically when you haven’t done a thing in a while, you get less practiced at that thing. That’s just common sense, right? Tubey, however, doesn’t subscribe to the notion of competence, let alone common sense. That’s why he’s strongly considering opening a TikTok account. Or maybe Instagram.

Master of none

There’s such a thing as spreading yourself too thin. And when you are a root vegetable, such a thing can be fatal. Fortunately for tubey, it has us to advise it. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is also happy to pitch in with his suggestions, though they’re a little hard to parse. Marvin has never mastered English … or any other language, come to think of it. Which leaves us to interpreting random squeaks. Don’t try this at home!

Let’s face it – none of us is an expert on social media. Maybe tubey will be the first in Big Green land to make it work. Or maybe he’s just nuts like the rest of us.